I went to bed last night saying to myself how PROUD I am of ME.
I made it through the holiday weekend without collapsing into any of of the
10000 triggers available
Yay Me! I Did It!
Zero Explosions (I am an Enneagram 8, this is a BIG DEAL)
I even went to bed without watching a single TikTok
I WOKE UP this morning and I was exhausted. So before my feet could even hit the floor my thinking mind takes over and here we go... BRING THE ACTION
Nope, not me going over the play by play of all the triggers and imprints that surfaced over the last 3 days. I mean hello, after a tremendous amount of inner child healing and shadow work, this holiday is THE ONE. The mother of all holidays.
It's completely okay that your god daughter/niece just graduated college and she was literally in diapers like a year ago.
We can also put aside, I have my period during peri-menopause and the New Moon in Taurus energy is HIGH VIBES.
Bed is literally calling me back and
rather loudly I might add
but was I really expecting anything less?
BREATHE.
Your niece is on the couch and you literally can hang out with her all day. I had dreamt of days like this. I haven't had my morning cup of coffee; the thoughts are not fully awake yet, so I am thinking I have time to turn this around.
3 sips of coffee
Nope, I am exhausted.
Yep, let me go through all the ways I have failed my ego's version of what my life is supposed to look like. Oh this is getting juicy. There is the less resourceful 8 I know and love.
Soul Chimes In...
"You Need To Breathe"
Ground into Mountain Pose (barefoot)
Find a Vocal Point or Drishti (third eye)
Find the Breath (Ujjayi Pranayama)
Notice the Breath, Watch it.
Reset
I spend the next 11 minutes finding present moment
looking out the window watching the blue jays and the cardinals
the trees are swaying from the wind
it's all so beautiful
I surrender. I am grateful.
My body feels peaceful.
This is my comfortable place
Q: Maybe a 1/4 of my home made infused fruity pebble treat will support
the ease of the day
A: fruity pebble treat down the hatch
22 minutes later
I am ready
I jump on the couch with my god daughter. We both had a trauma filled weekend, lots of tears. lots of deep conversations and many celebrations. I DESERVE TO REST WHEN I NEED IT
3 episodes in of "Shadow and Bone" on Netflix. (if you love a good dark vs. light fight this is it)
Special Shout Out to Robin Appel Maida for mentioning it a Enneagram 1 number of times.
Knock-Knock
Thinking mind wants to say hello!
What are you doing laying around. You don't deserve it.
Imprint: My mom hated when I would lay around and watch TV all day.
Her reason, it was lazy, non productive
Why would I want to miss out on my life, she would ask.
Soul: It's okay to relax and nurture, you had a really tough weekend
Emotions of Anger takes over and I have disengaged completely from the show.
I decide to eat something, I had been up for 3 hours at this point with no food in my stomach. HANGRY?!
Chia Seed Pudding and Fruit...I FEEL BETTER (or I should say my body does)
30 minutes later, nope, here comes the chatter of the mind.
I get a great idea; To make a list of all the irritating things I have going on in my life.
That List Gets Long QUICK.
BREATHE x 3
I surrender. I am grateful.
"just look how beautiful my god daughter is"
My body feels peaceful.
At this point I make an internal decision that I will be getting on my favorite Manduka Mat for an Always-At-Aum vinyasa class with my Fave Crystal Goddess, Regina McGowan.
insert "internal applause"
I successfully watch a total of 5 episodes, that was awesome.
I am now motivated to cook a Hello Fresh meal. It would be nice to have dinner ready right after class is over.
I get on my mat and within moments I feel better than an hour ago
I told myself it's okay if I don't make it through the whole class
Just do the best that you can (I made it through whole class)
I get to my favorite asana ever Fetal Pose/Garbasana and I soak in
the shape. I am calmer and more balanced than I have been all day long, all weekend long!
Yoga is always the answer.
Why do I always act shocked when I realize how an hour of breath and movement can help quiet the chatter of the mind? I only need to be in one place and that is the present moment,
I sit down to a wonderful home cooked meal with my god daughter and I am content in this moment.
BREATHE x 3
I surrender. I am grateful.
I am grateful for my mother
She did the best that she could do
I surrender to the divine plan
I trust the Universe
My body feels peaceful.
Namaste
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